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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23986105">moving on</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_forgotten_daydreamer/pseuds/the_forgotten_daydreamer'>the_forgotten_daydreamer</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Voltron: Legendary Defender [15]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Voltron: Legendary Defender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Allura is amazing even when she is dead btw, Aromantic Asexual Pidge | Katie Holt, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Canonical Character Death, Caring Keith (Voltron), Cuban Lance (Voltron), Depressed Lance (Voltron), Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Found Family, Gay Keith (Voltron), Gay Shiro (Voltron), Grief/Mourning, Happy Ending, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Internalized Homophobia, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) Has Anxiety, Lance (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Lance (Voltron) Speaks Spanish, Lance (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Langst, M/M, Making Out, Pansexual Hunk (Voltron), Pining Keith (Voltron), Post Season 8, Post-Canon Fix-It, Sad Lance (Voltron), Worried Keith (Voltron)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 20:08:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,338</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23986105</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_forgotten_daydreamer/pseuds/the_forgotten_daydreamer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been two years since Allura's death, and Lance is struggling to cope with grief in a healthy way. That is, until someone decides to help.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Curtis/Shiro (Voltron), Hunk/Shay (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Voltron: Legendary Defender [15]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1680511</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>118</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I do not own VLD nor these characters.<br/>Please, read the notes at the end.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>There's a lot of Spanish in this chapter but you can find all the translations in the end notes :D<br/>Also, it’s… Sad. Good luck.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He was tired. And sweaty, and sleepy, and <em> so </em> hungry.</p><p>Lance dragged a wrist against his forehead to wipe some of the pearls of sweat away; he dug the shovel in the ground and leaned on it, panting. Today, the temperature was even higher than normal, and being inside a humid greenhouse surely did not help. At all.</p><p>He’d been in there since the early morning, from just a few minutes after sunrise, actually. Lance knew that his friends were going to visit him soon, in a couple of weeks probably, as usual. Thankfully, the Voltron team had decided to meet at least once every six months, and Lance was extremely grateful. He missed those days. He missed his friends, he missed flying Blue and Red, he missed the Castle. He missed the mice too- he was bummed when they decided to go with Coran on New Altea instead of staying with him and Kalternecker on Earth. He understood, though.</p><p>He missed Hunk’s food and his ability to always make him feel safe.</p><p>He missed Pidge’s snarky comments and their pranks.</p><p>He missed Shiro’s reassuring words and fatherly behaviour. </p><p>He missed Coran’s talent to make the others happy and comfortable. </p><p>Lance missed Keith too, immensely. </p><p><em> I hope he comes to visit soon… </em> he thought to himself as he grabbed the hose and watered one of the latest additions, that is an original Altean plant named in a way that he couldn’t quite pronounce. He huffed out a dry laugh, gaze distant and melancholic.</p><p>Coran had told him that it was Allura’s second favourite flower, the first one being the Juniberry that Lance cultivated in the nearby greenhouse. </p><p>Allura… He missed her. <em> Dios </em>, he missed her so much. </p><p>He missed her smile, her kind touch, her strong personality, her pureness of heart. He missed her a lot, and a day didn’t go by that he didn’t think about her. </p><p>They’d been officially together for a couple of weeks only, but he’d liked her since day one. To be honest, Lance had given up and accepted that he could only be her friend. He was fine with it, the only thing he cared about was her safety and happiness. But… After the whole mayhem with Lotor, Allura had probably realized that Lance wasn’t the shallow guy she thought he was, and so she gave him a chance.</p><p>Only two weeks, but happy ones.</p><p>A sob escaped his chapped lips. He truly missed her, but he had realized that it was time to move on a year after her passing. He was never going to forget her- even if he ever wanted to, those marks would always remind him of what had been.</p><p>Lance… He didn’t know if he hated the marks or not. They reminded him of her- not that he would have forgotten anyway- but also chained him to a past that he would have gladly left behind.</p><p>He and his friends had been thrown into a war at such a young age that, on Earth, they weren’t even allowed to have a drink. They were literal children.</p><p>Just children, unwillingly ripped from their mothers’ breasts and forced to fight a war, the thought of a possible attack on their homeplanet keeping them up at night more often than not. It had been hell, but also something that had changed their lives drastically for the better. They’d been given an honorary diploma and offered profitable jobs at the Garrison- not something that everyone got in their early twenties. They’d been offered to travel around the galaxy, to do the most amazing things ever with a universe that would have greeted them glady, and… Lance had kindly declined the invitation. Hunk too, though he’d settled with Shay on a planet not too far from Earth, where he opened his chain of restaurants- he offered free meals for life to his friends, <em> obviously </em>.</p><p>Pidge and their family had founded the next generation of “Legendary Defenders”- Lance snorted every time he thought of that ridiculous name- and Keith worked alongside them and joined forces with the Blade of Marmora to help those who’d suffered during the war. Lance was so proud of his friends, he was proud of them all. He was happy that he also got to see Coran and Romelle very often, once a month at least, but that kind of life- the paladin or whatever, it wasn’t for him.</p><p>Not anymore.</p><p>Glancing down, Lance screamed.</p><p>“¡Mierda!”.</p><p>The Altean plant had been literally drowned because he’d spaced off for too long.</p><p>He hissed, “I’m sorry, little plant! I’m so sorry!”. Lance frantically turned the water off, and let his knees plop into the mud unceremoniously, hands hovering above the plant, trembling. </p><p>“It’s gonna be okay. I’ll fix this, alright? Hang on, plantita…” he whispered.</p><p>He got up, not caring of the mess his pants were now; he needed to call Coran and ask for help. He needed to save that plant.</p><p>It was Allura’s second favourite plant, Lance couldn’t let it die, he couldn’t kill it like that-</p><p>He didn’t realize he’d run back to his house until he threw the door open violently.</p><p>Beatriz- his mother- was in the kitchen, and ran to the entrance with a startled look. </p><p>“Oh, eres tú, mijo…” she sighed in relief. She eyed her son again, “¿qué pasó con tus pantalones, Lance?</p><p>“Nada, mamá… Necesito hacer una llamada-”</p><p>But the woman shook her head, crossing her arms, “¡Lávate primero!”</p><p>“...Sí, mamá.” he sighed, nodding as he headed for the bathroom after pressing a quick kiss on the woman’s forehead.</p><p>She was right, he needed to wash first. He reeked of mud and sweat since he’d been out for nearly six hours now, lifting heavy bags of dirt and carrying rakes and shovels around.</p><p>“Lance,” she called once he was halfway through the stairs, “are you alright?”</p><p>He hissed internally. His mother using English when no one else was around was never good. He mustered enough strength to plaster a fake smile, “Estoy bien, no te preocupes”</p><p>He went to the bathroom, sighing as he opened the faucet and waited for a while for the water to be as cold as possible. Glancing at his reflection, he noticed the dark bags under his eyes, a grim reminder of how bad he was handling the situation.</p><p>Lance put the sink plug in, letting the porcelain bowl fill with icy water to the brim. In the meantime, he took his dirty pants off, tossing them in the bathtub to scrub the mud off of them later.</p><p>Once he was satisfied, Lance turned the water off. His grip on the sides of the sink was tight as he dunk his whole face in the water, and as soon as he was down, he screamed. </p><p>He was sad. And angry. Desperate, hurting, out of his mind, on the verge of madness-</p><p>Because nothing made sense. He didn’t make sense. He’d lost what he thought was the love of his life, one of his best friends, the one who’d taught him that he could be much more than what he thought he was, the girl who’d given him a chance. And then the universe, that <em> bastard </em>, it had taken her away. Forever.</p><p>And Lance thought- no- he believed it was his fault, because he hadn’t protected her from Lotor, because he didn’t sacrifice himself in her place. <em> Hell </em>, he couldn't have done it anyway, he wasn’t strong enough.</p><p>He wasn’t gifted like her, he was just a boy from Cuba.</p><p>After all those years, he was still <em> just a stupid, untalented boy from Cuba </em>.</p><p>Everybody would call him a hero, they’d ask for autographs and elders would cheer when he passed in the streets, they’d offer him stuff that he didn’t even need, they’d knock on his house’s door to receive a blessing as if he were some sort of deity...</p><p>But he wasn’t. He didn’t deserve any of that. He was just a boy from Cuba.</p><p>Lance had killed those flowers just like he had killed Allura.</p><p>He squeezed his eyes shut, resurfacing only to take a deep breath and plow again in the water, his whole head down.</p><p>What would the others think of him? They’d seen him kill Allura. They’d seen him flirt like the ignorant child he was back then, they’d seen him declare his love for her when it was clear that she didn’t love him.</p><p>He loved her. As cliché as that may sound, he loved her as a friend. But friends come and go, he’d seen it happen far too many times. So- he thought- the best chance he had to never let her go was to do more than befriending her. And, strangely enough, she’d accepted.</p><p>She was probably scared and lonely, stuck on a planet she’d never seen, fighting for people that were not hers. The least he could do was offer his support. He loved her.</p><p>But he loved Hunk too. And Pidge. And Shiro. And Coran.</p><p>And… Keith.</p><p>He loved Keith. Lance loved him in a way that he had never experienced before.</p><p>
  <em> No. I’m not gay. I’m not. </em>
</p><p>He was not gay.</p><p>
  <em> I’m not. </em>
</p><p>Flashes of Keith smiling passed before Lance’s shut eyes. His breath hitched, chest seizing as he struggled for air, mind foggy.</p><p>Keith. </p><p>Of all the people that he could fall in love with, it had to be <em> goddamn </em>Keith. </p><p>
  <em> But I’m not in love with him.  </em>
</p><p>He wasn’t, was he? He didn’t lie when he said he liked girls. He really liked them. But… Maybe not only girls. Keith… He made Lance’s heart pound incessantly in his chest, ribs throbbing to that sweet rhythm. </p><p>Was it love..?</p><p>His head snapped out of the water, a loud <em> NO! </em>echoing in his head.</p><p>
  <em> Cabrón... </em>
</p><p>Lance gasped for air, gripping the sink for dear life, low head hanging from his tired neck. He couldn’t go on like that. It was going to kill him.</p><p>Even the <em> fucking </em> flowers made him lose it. <em> Patético, Lance. ¡Eres tan jodidamente patético! ¡Comemierda! </em></p><p>Suddenly, he felt a somewhat familiar warmth inside of him, and his air was cut short.</p><p>Slowly, gingerly, Lance let his gaze rise up to meet his haunting reflection.</p><p>And he screamed. It was loud, broken, desperate, long. He didn’t stop. </p><p>He kept yelling until his throat felt raw and bleeding, vocal cords strained, lungs squeezing impossibly.</p><p>Lance didn’t register the loud steps approaching the bathroom, instead he kept staring at that <em> monstrosity </em>.</p><p>"¡¿Mijo?!" Beatriz called, peeping inside the bathroom worriedly.</p><p>And then she saw him. Her son. Her own son, frozen in shock as he gingerly stroke the brightly glowing marks under his ocean eyes. Lance's pupils were shrunk and stuck on that reflection, which seemed so strange, so unfamiliar. Yet so... Upsetting. Beatriz hadn’t gotten used to her son’s new marks yet, despite a fair amount of time had passed since Allura’s departure.</p><p>The middle-aged woman perfectly remembered when the five Lions landed on Earth after their last battle, only four beaten paladins coming out. Lance had taken the longest.</p><p>The others- even Keith- had waited patiently outside, not wanting to force Lance to show himself just yet. </p><p>In that time, Lance hadn’t cried, only having shed a tear when he saw Allura fading away, permanently.</p><p>But, after that, he had not cried once. The team was worried sick, but they tried to keep their anxiety at bay, offering support. Keith, oh, he’d tried his best to make Lance feel comfortable enough to open up, but the Cuban had remained silent, offering weak, fake smiles and half-hearted shrugs. </p><p>He’d flinched violently when Coran burst into tears, unconsolable. Seeing him so broken destroyed Lance, and shook him out of his stupor… And, at the same time, made him become who he was.</p><p>Now, the young man looked so fragile, small and trembling like a kitten drenched in icy water, scared of something that he couldn't understand, haunted by his past that he cherished yet feared deeply.</p><p>“Oh, mijo...” she breathed out, stepping inside the bathroom.</p><p>And Lance, he was crying. His eyes weren’t simply shining, no. He was crying silently, fat tears rolling down his reddened cheeks as the marks glowed brighter and brighter with each passing instant.</p><p>He turned around slowly, his chest seizing visibly as he struggled to keep his breath under control. His shaking hands, still wet, rose up to his face again, and he buried it in them.</p><p>“Don’t… Don’t look at me.”</p><p>“Lancito, let me see-”</p><p>“¡Maldición, no me mires!” Lance yelled harshly, making his mother flinch. After a brief moment of shock, Beatriz recovered, her features hardening as she grabbed her son’s wrist careful not to hurt him.</p><p>“Lance Alejandro Rodríguez-McClain, lower your voice when you speak to your mother” she replied, tone firm but not really angry at the same time. Her gaze softened, though Lance couldn’t see it, his hands still pressed on his face. </p><p>“Habla conmigo, mijo. ¿Cuál es el problema, mh?” she tried softly, but he shook his head.</p><p>She knew that her son was hurting. She could sense that. He had never been the same after Allura’s death. And… He’d never been the same after Keith left Earth to join his alien friends-she couldn’t recall the name of that organisation. But Beatriz wasn’t blind. She knew what was going on, but she didn’t want to force her child to say anything that made him feel uncomfortable. </p><p>Lance, he was her youngest with Rachel. Those twins had been a blessing and a curse at the same time for her. Before those two, Beatriz had given birth to three other amazing children. Luis was twelve years older than Lance and Rachel, then there was Veronica, born three years after Luis, and finally Marco, only four years older than the twins.</p><p>She’d been told that she was too old to have healthy babies anymore, and she agreed. But her ex husband, Tulio, he wasn’t having any of it. He wanted <em> more </em>kids.</p><p>Sort of a prize, a trophee to show his virility. When Beatriz had found out that she was pregnant with two beautiful, healthy babies, she’d swore to protect them.</p><p>Little did she know that one of them would have left her so unexpectedly, only to come back five years later as someone completely different.</p><p>Older, yes, and heart-broken, miserable, tired. He was not the Lance that she’d taken pictures with on his first day at the Garrison.</p><p>He was not the joyful kid she’d left there on his own.</p><p>It had gotten worse after Allura’s death and Keith’s new job. And she didn’t know how to fix it.</p><p>She sighed. Being the short woman that Beatriz was, she had to stand on the tip of her toes to put her hands on her son’s trembling shoulders.</p><p>Lance cried louder, sobbing helplessly as tears rolled through his fingers and down his chin, each hiccup making him bend forward until his face- still hidden- was buried in his mother’s crook of the neck. He wailed, helpless against that cruel destiny he had to face. Beatriz rubbed soothing circles on his back, whispering soft words in his ears. Words that he couldn’t quite hear over his own sobbing.</p><p>“Estás bien, estás bien, mijo. Respira para mi, mh? Bien, Lancito, respira profundo. Con calma...”.</p><p>Lance was twenty-four years old, but his mother still saw him as the teen that had disappeared some years ago. She’d never given up on him. Never.</p><p>But… She’d lost several years of her youngest son’s life. Still, the seventeen year-old sweet boy had come back to her with scars behind his eyes. </p><p>A man who was twenty-two year-old when he came back to his planet. A man who’d seen and fought a war, who had almost died- Lance omitted the part  about his actual death- and that risked his life again once back on Earth. The universe seemed to be willing to take him away from her. Beatriz hated that.</p><p>“Estoy aquí para ti, mijo,” she breathed out tenderly as he hiccupped, “¿Qué puedo hacer?”</p><p>Slowly, Lance pulled away from his mother’s embrace, still sobbing but breathing a bit easier. His marks were still glowing brightly.</p><p>“I- I don’t know wh-why these… I m-mean... These fuckin' things... Th-they’re...” he breathed out, brokenly, “mamá, I- I don't understand why… I… I don’t know...” he hiccupped.</p><p>“Do you... Want me to get someone? Perhaps, Coran..?” the woman offered, unsure. It had never been <em> this </em>bad before. The marks used to glow every now and then, but it was for a minute at most, and not as brightly. And Lance, he’d never been so distraught about it. Not that Beatriz knew of.</p><p>Lance shook his head vehemently, “I... No. No, he’s busy. I- I wouldn’t w-want to-“</p><p>“He already told you multiple times that you are not a bother, mijo. All of your friends did, and I was right there so don’t deny it,” she reasoned, “how about you wash your face, put some fresh clothes on and then come downstairs with me for a talk? Or… Maybe for hot cocoa, if you don’t feel like talking about Allu-”</p><p>“I’d love s-some hot cocoa,” he interrupted, “and can I ask for mar-marshmallow too, pl-please..?” he continued, calmer.</p><p>Beatriz offered a warm smile, “Alright. Be down in five, mh? And-” she raised her hand and rubbed a thumb on Lance’s tear-stained cheek, “-no more crying, ¿entendido?”.</p><p>He nodded, and flashed the tinies, shyest grin to her, “Bien...”.</p><p>“Bueno, y ahora vamos”. Lance’s mother gently pressed a kiss on his forehead, and went on her way to prepare what he had asked for.</p><p>Lance was left alone in the bathroom once again, his haunting reflected-self making him suddenly too self-aware. What had he become? He couldn't even recognize himself. Lance wasn’t that devastated, weak man now, was he?</p><p>
  <em> I am, though. </em>
</p><p>He turned his back to the mirror, deciding to ignore the reflection. He didn’t want to see it again any time soon. He blindly grabbed for a towel and cleaned his face like that, getting snot and tears all over the lavender-scented cloth. He tossed it inside the laundry hamper and left for his room down the corridor.</p><p>Realizing that he didn’t have pants on for the entire conversation with his mother made him feel both extremely embarrassed and amused. He really was messed up.</p><p>He threw on a pair of black sweatpants and a white T-shirt, and slid his feet into a clean pair of fuzzy socks (contrary to popular beliefs, the rubber boots used by farmers were not that comfortable).</p><p>After that, Lance made his way downstairs. As he arrived outside the kitchen, he heard his mother talking to someone. It was barely a whisper, and he didn’t manage to understand more than a couple of words per sentence, but he was absolutely sure that she’d said Lance’s name more than once.</p><p>
  <em> Great. </em>
</p><p>He waited another minute for her to hang up, and then casually walked into the kitchen, where a cup of steaming cocoa was sat on the table in the middle of the room. Lance smiled brightly, hiding his concerns.</p><p>She’d called Coran, definitely. And Lance hated being a bother… The others had told him that he was not, but deep down he knew he was.</p><p>“Smells good...” he chirped out as he sat down at the table.</p><p>“I put the marshmallows in already. Hope it’s okay, mjio..!”</p><p>“Yeah, it’s fine, don’t worry.” he nodded, fumbling for words  “Listen, huh- I… I… Just wanted to- you know… To thank you. For... Huh...”.</p><p>
  <em> Running out of things to say now of all times, idiota? </em>
</p><p>“For being here… I… I’m the only one who stayed here and- I know I’m almost twenty-five and that I, y’know, should probably be out of your hair by now, but-”</p><p>“What are you saying? You are my <em> child </em>. I lost you once, and… And I won’t lose you again.” she said, eyes watery, “Lance, siempre estaré ahí para ti. Te quiero mucho, y no importa cuantos años tenga, porque siempre serás mi niño...”. She sat down on the chair next to his, and took his shaking hands in hers, slightly paler and more wrinkled. Beatriz caressed her son’s, delicately, as she stared at those eyes she took so much pride in, “I love you, Lance. I care about you.”.</p><p>He exhaled, weakly, tears threatening to spill again.</p><p>“Gracias, mamá. Yo también te quiero… Thank you for everything you have done... I... I appreciate it. Like, a lot” he whispered.</p><p>She smiled, “Then… I hope you don’t mind if I called someone. He’s on his way” she winked.</p><p>“I had my suspicions,” Lance sighed, sipping the hot beverage and hissing at the heat as he set the cup down again, “Since New Altea isn’t too far, I should get ready because Coran might be here any moment-”</p><p>“Mh, Lance… I did not call Coran. You told me not to, so I didn’t.”the woman explained calmly, “Keith will be here in a couple of hours, so you have plenty of time to relax a bit before he arrives, mh?” she smiled.</p><p>
  <em> Wait. Wait. Wait, what!? </em>
</p><p>“YOU CALLED <em> KEITH </em>!?” Lance screeched, shooting up from his chair as it fell onto the floor, “Mamá! What- how- I- ugh!! Mamá!!”.</p><p>The woman tilted her head slightly, skillfully playing innocent in front of her son’s blushing, “Are you two not good friends?”</p><p>“Yeah, we are! It’s just that-” his cheeks reddened further, the Altean marks glowing so much that Beatriz had to shield her eyes.</p><p>“Jesus! He is <em> so </em>going to mock me!” the young man screamed, hands gripping at his chocolate hair.</p><p>“Don’t be ridiculous, mijo. Keith’s an adult, he’ll be happy to help a friend, I’m sure”</p><p>“It’s not that, mamá… He’s-” he groaned, “I need some air, sorry”.</p><p>The woman watched in amusement as her son stepped out and sat on the porch, face buried in his hands. Surely enough he was hiding the marks too, though those became secondary over the intensely red blush on Lance’s face. Blood rushed to his head as thoughts made it spin further. He groaned again, letting himself lay down onto the wooden porch. </p><p>“Oh Allura, give me the strength to do this. I’m not sure your quintessence would have been enough to fix this fuckin’ mess” he muttered, barely audible. He stared at the fields, cows grazing under the pale sun of September calmly. Lance was jealous, if he had to admit it; he would have loved being a cow. Eating, minding his own business as he napped all day long. </p><p><em> Yeah, that would be so cool… </em> </p><p>Lance was really going to do this, <em> right </em>? Apparently, yes. So he waited.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Translation:</p><p>•¡Mierda! = Shit!<br/>•Plantita = Little plant<br/>•Oh, eres tú, mijo… ¿qué pasó con tus pantalones, Lance?  = oh, it’s you, dear. What happened to your pants, Lance?<br/>•Nada, mamá… Necesito hacer una llamada- = Nothing, mom... I need to make a call-<br/>•Lávate primero. = Wash first.<br/>•Estoy bien, no te preocupes = I’m okay, don’t worry.<br/>•Cabrón… = Bastard...<br/>•Patético, Lance. ¡Eres tan jodidamente patético! ¡Comemierda! = Pathetic, Lance. You are so fucking pathetic! Shit-eater!<br/>•¡Maldición, no me mires! = Goddammit, don’t look at me!<br/>•Habla conmigo, mijo. ¿Cuál es el problema, mh? = Talk to me, dear. What’s the problem, mh?<br/>•Estás bien, estás bien, mijo.  Respira para mi, mh? Lancito, respira profundo. Con calma... = You’re okay, you’re okay, dear. Breathe for me, mh? Deep breaths, Lancito. Easy does it...<br/>•Estoy aquí para ti, mijo. ¿Qué puedo hacer? = I’m here for you, dear. What can I do?<br/>•¿Entendido? = Got it?<br/>•Bien… = Alright…<br/>•Bueno, y ahora vamos = Good, and now let’s go.<br/>idiota. = idiot.<br/>•Lance, siempre estaré ahí para ti. Te quiero mucho, y no importa cuantos años tenga, porque siempre serás mi niño. = Lance, I’ll always be there for you. I love you so much, and it doesn’t matter how old you are ‘cause you’ll always be my baby boy.<br/>•Gracias, mamá. Yo también te quiero… = Thank you, mom. I love you too…<br/>-<br/>To clarify: Luis is 36, Veronica is 33, Marco is 28. Lance and Rachel are 24.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay, lot of dialogue here, suicide-talk (not graphic) and grieving discourse. READ THE END NOTES PLEASE.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lance gazed upon the fields before his eyes, the sun rising gradually as he waited for Keith to come.</p><p>
  <em> Keith… </em>
</p><p>He hated it, being a bother to someone as busy as Keith. What was he going to say about Lance? What was he going to think about someone who needs their mother to make calls for them? Lance felt pathetic.</p><p>Getting up from the porch was rather painful, bones aching after laying on the wooden surface for so long; he stepped inside the house- his mother nowhere in sight now- and headed for the bathroom for a shower, since he still reeked of sweat and mud.</p><p>Lance avoided the mirror.</p><p>The warm, soapy water was a blessing on his tan skin, and he carefully scrubbed the dirt away with a soft sponge, humming to a song that he didn’t remember the title of. It made him think of <em> her </em>.</p><p>He’d never got the chance to hear her singing, but he always thought that Allura must have had a very soothing, melodious singing voice, that fuzzy feeling numbing his chest as he imagined her humming with him.</p><p>Lance was scared that he would forget her voice one day, so he continuously looked at that ten-seconds long footage that one of the MFE pilots- Kinkade, was it?- had recorded some days before she…</p><p>He shook his head, letting the sponge drop and splash at his bare feet and slapping himself in the face. <em> Not again. </em></p><p>Lance rinsed and stepped out of the shower, eyes still avoiding the rectangular mirror above the sink. Keith was coming soon and he didn’t want to be seen with puffy, red eyes by him. He didn’t even want Keith to come, honestly, but it was far too late now.</p><p>After throwing on a clean shirt and a pair of blue jeans, Lance headed downstairs again, ruffling his wet hair with a teal towel.</p><p>He heard chatter.</p><p>“-shower but I’m sure he’ll be- oh, mijo, there you are!” his mother chirped out.</p><p>Keith stood right next to her, “Hey Lance” he smiled.</p><p>“K-Keith! I huh, I didn’t expect you to come so soon!”.</p><p><em> Dios </em>, his hair was still dripping water!</p><p>“I’m sorry, I just thought I’d come by earlier. I hope it’s alright, miss McClain”</p><p>“Of course it is, Keith! And call me Beatriz, please. Now, I need to go to the store, will you two be alright?”. She looked at her son.</p><p>“I’m twenty-four!” Lance bickered, offended at her insinuation.</p><p>“...Very well, then. Be sure to treat our guest nicely, hm?” she chirped out, turning toward Keith and placing a warm hand on his shoulder, “will you stay for lunch?”</p><p>“I wouldn’t want to disturb you-!”</p><p>“Oh Keith, you know I love having you around! Do you like chicken?”</p><p>He nodded, smiling warmly at the short woman.</p><p>“Then it’s settled. Hasta luego, and be good!” Beatriz waved and stepped out of the house.</p><p>The two young men stared at each other, Lance’s mouth slightly agape. His mother had left him alone with Keith.</p><p>
  <em> Alone.  </em>
</p><p><em> With Keith </em>.</p><p>“So,” Keith broke the ice nonchalantly, “how’s it going?”.</p><p>Lance stared still.</p><p>What could he say?<em> ‘Sorry, I had a mental breakdown and my mom was desperate’ </em>?</p><p>No, of course <em> not </em>.</p><p>“Lance? Are you okay?”</p><p>“I’m- yeah, don’t worry. Would you like a drink?”</p><p>“Water’s fine, thank you”.</p><p>Lance scoffed as he led the way to the kitchen and offered Keith a sit while he poured cold water in a glass.</p><p>“How are your missions going?” he asked.</p><p>“Pretty well, really. Nothing out of the ordinary”</p><p>“So you’re bored?” Lance smirked and handed Keith the glass, and then sat down.</p><p>“You got me there”.</p><p>The chuckle that erupted between them didn’t last long enough, and soon they were left in a deafening, unsettling silence. Keith raised his amethyst gaze to meet Lance’s diamond eyes glued to the table; his mouth was still slightly quivered up in a tiny smile. But his eyes, they weren’t smiling one bit.</p><p>“Lance, I-”</p><p>“Look, I appreciate that you came all the way just to cheer me up, but I’m fine. I- I don’t know what my mother told you but, really, I’m doing fine.” he blurted out, eyes still low.</p><p>“It doesn’t look like it,” Keith spoke, tilting his head slightly, “what’s going on? You look… Rougher than normal”</p><p>“Gee, thanks...”</p><p>“I’m serious, Lance. What is it?”</p><p>“The usual.” he muttered, “Keith, you don’t have to stay if you don’t want to. I can make up an excuse, my mother won’t be mad-”</p><p>“No, I want to stay. And I won’t leave until you tell me what’s wrong”.</p><p>His voice trembled in worry, because he could see Lance’s fingers absentmindedly caressing the marks- glowing dully under his spent eyes. It was about Allura.</p><p>“<em> Nothing </em>’s wrong. I just- I killed some flowers and got upset. I’m dumb, you know, stuff like that happens all the time to me-”</p><p>“Lance.” his voice was firm "Don't do this, please".</p><p>The Cuban finally raised his eyes, meeting Keith’s, "Huh... What do you mean?"</p><p>"This. You- you always act like your problems don't matter"</p><p>"I don't." he shrugged.</p><p>"You do. You do, Lance. For two years we have tried to make you open up a little, and you never did. You-” Keith ran a hand through his hair, held in a low ponytail, “you never let us know anything. Shiro, you know how he is, he never talks about his problems. But when things get bad he texts me, and Curtis has told me that he's begun to be more open about his feelings. Even Shiro talks about his problems more than you, and this is not a normal thing"</p><p>“Are you saying that I usually complain more?”</p><p>“I wish you did, now. But- you’ve been too quiet in the past two years.”</p><p>"Keith..."</p><p>"Asking for help is okay. We all do that”.</p><p>Lance huffed out a dry laugh, lowering his gaze once again, “The great Kogane asks for help too? Liar..."</p><p>"But I do, now. I... I haven't told anyone, but I actually went to therapy for a bit".</p><p>And that made Lance look at the man before him in the eyes, eyebrows arched in worry, "Oh... R-really? Are you okay now?"</p><p>"Yeah, I’m all good, don’t worry. It was, hum, when we lost… Her".</p><p>The name died on his tongue. How could he say <em> her </em>name in front of Lance? How would the latter react at the mention of-</p><p>"Allura. You can say her name, you know? It's not my property or anything." </p><p>"I- I just didn't want to upset you further..."</p><p>"It's fine, man, I get it. Go ahead"</p><p>"So... When Allura died, I felt empty and partially responsible. I still do, honestly. Every day I think that I could have done more... But she's gone now. Dwelling in the past won't bring her back. We can and will remember her, yes, but we also have to accept that she’s gone..." he spoke slowly, gravely.</p><p><em> He’s right- </em>no, Lance wasn't going to cry now. He wasn’t.</p><p>"I... I know.” his voice came out as a whisper, barely audible, “But... Keith, you don't understand..."</p><p>"I don't understand because you never told me- or anybody- how you really feel"</p><p>"It's complicated-"</p><p>"Then make it easy for me. Please, Lance. We are all struggling because you are our friend and you won't let us try to help. We, all of us, we are scared that we'll lose <em> another </em>friend". And Keith sounded desperate, but he didn’t care.</p><p>"Don't do this to me, Keith."</p><p>"Too late. Come on, work with me. I’m here, willing to listen and help. We all are, okay? Please, Lance. Please"</p><p>Lance scoffed. He was pissed.</p><p>Not at Keith, but at himself. Was he so easy to read? Was he doomed to be always understood by everybody without being allowed some privacy?</p><p>"What do you want to hear? What do you want me to say to make you feel <em> better </em>, huh? That- that I'm sad? That I'm struggling? Yes, I am. Happy now!?"</p><p>"Maybe you be a bit more expansive-"</p><p>"Says who!” Lance shot up from his seat, fists tight on the table, “You've never opened up to me. Or to our friends, for the matter. You,” a nervous laugh escaped his trembling lips, “you just-- swept your problems under the carpet and pretended they weren't there. It’s my turn now, Keith.”</p><p>"I used to do it, but I’ve ch-"</p><p>"I'm <em> sick </em> of these prying eyes trying to see right through me. I want to be left <em> alone </em>. I don't need to bother anyone, I've had plenty of <em> you are so annoying </em>said right in my face for that! I- I don't need this now. And I don't need any help."</p><p>Keith got up from the chair too, trying to look at Lance in the eyes, "You do need help. That's the issue here, and you are denying it. Listen-"</p><p>"No!" Lance stormed out of the kitchen, pacing, and Keith followed close behind.</p><p>"I said, listen to me! It's true, I didn't ask you guys for help back then and I still struggle to open up. And I did tell you that you were annoying a few times-"</p><p>"Only a few?"</p><p>"<em> But </em> now I learnt how to ask for help because I've matured!"</p><p>Lance threw his hands up in the air, still not facing Keith, "Well, congrats then-"</p><p>"I'm not finished yet. I have also learnt that there are some people I can lean on, there are friends and family willing to help. And you don't lack either of those.” he put a hand on Lance’s shoulder, and walked around him so that the two were standing face-to-face, “Lance, you don't want to talk to me? Nor to the others? Okay, it’s fine. But- your mother? What about her? And your siblings? They are loving and caring, and they want to help too"</p><p>"You don't get it."</p><p>"Believe me, I do. My father is dead and my mother hasn’t always been there for me, but you guys are my family as well. I know- I know that you’re afraid to be a burden, but you are not. We all told you. If you were, your mother would have given up on you. We all would have left you to your- whatever this is."</p><p>Lance shrugged, trying to make the other move his hand. He didn’t.</p><p>"Keith-"</p><p>"We don't want to give up on you. Your mother called me in tears because she is scared that she will lose you again for a problem that she could’ve helped with. She is scared to lose you, Lance, because you won't open up and we can't help until you let us!".</p><p>That seemed to snap Lance out of his depressive stupor, and his eyes widened at Keith’s tone and affirmation.</p><p>"Mamá was crying?"</p><p>"Yes. Because one of the people she loves the most is letting himself die"</p><p>"I’m not <em> dying- </em>"</p><p>"Have you seen your eyes lately? Your eyes, they- they are dull. Empty. And it's so fucking scary".</p><p>Lance rolled his ocean orbs, "You are being dramatic-"</p><p>“No” his tone was firm, “you know what? Hunk is scared that one day we're going to come down here and find out you're dead. He told me that some months after Allura’s death, and I just told him <em> hey, he just needs time. He’ll be fine </em>.” he apostrophed, “but you didn’t improve, so now we want to help you solve this. We are tired of you sulking in the past, you need to move on!"</p><p>“I can’t!”</p><p>“Yes, you can! Lance, the only one stopping you from healing is <em> you </em>.” he grabbed his arms, squeezing them tightly, “We can’t pretend that Allura didn’t die. But blaming ourselves is useless, and focusing our entire future existence on this fact is harmful. I can see that twinge in your eyes-”.</p><p>He shifted closer, facing Lance closely, their noses brushing, “You’re thinking of doing something, aren’t you?” </p><p>“I-”</p><p>“Aren’t you, Lance?”.</p><p>Lance was shocked. Did his friends think that he would commit suicide? Did they think he was self-harming? He wouldn’t. He wasn't-</p><p>"I… I wouldn't… I’d never do that, I think… I’m not- no, I wouldn’t."</p><p>"But what <em> if </em>you do?" Keith pressed, eyes deep and sparkling with fear and anger.</p><p>Lance exhaled, shakily. He was messed up.</p><p>Tears began pouring down his face copiously, warm gems falling from azure pools. Air didn’t get in nor out, leaving Lance in a suspended state of nothingness. </p><p>"I... I'm sorry.” he whispered, voice watery as Keith loosened the grip, hands tiredly falling to his sides.</p><p>“I’m so sorry.” Lance spoke again, “I killed her”.</p><p>Keith’s blood froze. So Lance still thought <em> that </em> , he believed that he was <em> entirely </em>responsible for Allura’s death. Knowingly, he guided the Cuban boy to the couch, sitting down next to him. He swallowed nervously and mustered enough strength.</p><p>"Lance, it wasn't your fault-"</p><p>"I think it was… And… I just- can't forget about her..."</p><p>"You don't have to, that's the whole point. It would be bad if you did. We'll all remember Allura forever, and so will the future generations. She saved the universe. She is a hero. And... And she was your girlfriend. She loved you and you loved her-"</p><p>"I'm not sure <em> she </em>did"</p><p>"What? Of course she loved you-"</p><p>"I don’t know… I mean, I used to flirt with her all the time and she always seemed annoyed at that. And- I was admittedly a jerk. Like, the annoying kind of jerk-"</p><p>"A bit, yeah" the half-Galra cut in, raising an eyebrow in the faint attempt to lighten the mood.</p><p>"...Thanks Keith" Lance bit back, not really upset and even slightly amused as he exhaled from his nose.</p><p>Keith waved a hand, "I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. Please go on"</p><p>"When we came back on Earth, she seemed sad,” Lance resumed, tone low and beaten, “I guess that she probably missed Altea and felt out of place or something like that. I wanted to help, so I asked Allura out on a date, and I didn't even think she would've said yes. I didn't have any plan, I just wanted her to see my family 'cause I was a hundred percent sure that they would have made her feel like a daughter, and they did. She seemed happy so I just... You know, told her I loved her" he shrugged, staring at the hands folded between his knees.</p><p>"And, did you?"</p><p>"I... Yes, I did. I still do. But... I'm not sure if- if it was love or…”. A low groan escaped his mouth, “I don't really know either".</p><p>Keith put a hand on Lance’s knee, worried that his friend might have spiraled again, "What do you mean..?"</p><p>"Nothing, I'm just rambling"</p><p>"Don't do that again, Lance. You can tell me anything, okay? I won't judge you"</p><p>"Yeah, you will. I'm sure you will"</p><p>"Thanks for the trust, I guess-"</p><p>"No, wait, I'm- sorry. I didn't mean it like that."</p><p>"Alright, then... Tell me what you were going to say earlier, about loving Allura".</p><p>Silence followed, only the cows bellowing and the birds filling that uneasy void.</p><p>Lance exhaled shakily, gathering enough strength.</p><p>"It's embarrassing and maybe not even true. I... Listen, do you like Shiro?"</p><p>"Well,” Keith shrugged, uncertain as to why Lance was asking him that, “he raised me with kindness and love, so yeah- oh. Oh no. Don't tell me you like Shiro!" he gasped, incredulous and slightly grossed out.</p><p>"I- what!? No. Keith, no. Jesus. Why would you say that? No. Shiro's like a father to me, you idiot-!" Lance all but yelled in his heart, shaking his head vehemently, hands waving in a denying gesture.</p><p>“Thank goodness, you scared me!”. Keith regained his breath, hand on his chest as he breathed out in relief.</p><p>“Yes, I love my brother. Why?” he continued.</p><p>Lance looked hesitant.</p><p>"Well, he is married to a man, and... And you're okay with that, right?"</p><p>A nod.</p><p>"Well…” Lance played with his hands restlessly, pulling his fingers, sweaty and hot to the touch. “Keith, listen. I- I don’t really know how to tell you this, but I may be- I mean, I think I’m... I’m...".</p><p>An intense blush made his whole face burn up, and he swore he could have boiled an egg on it. </p><p>
  <em> This is too awkward. I can’t- </em>
</p><p>"Gay? Is that what you’re trying to say?" Keith simply stated, seeming unbothered.</p><p>And Lance’s jaw dropped. "Yes! No! Well, kinda- I-" <em> wow, </em>had his voice always been so ridiculously high-pitched?</p><p>Keith hummed, “I didn’t know, but-”</p><p>"I'm- <em> questioning </em>. Okay? I- I don't know. I like women, I do-!"</p><p>"Yeah, we've <em> all </em>noticed..."</p><p>"But I also like men..? I-" he groaned, flustered as the marks glowed brighter, hidden behind his hands now pressed on his face, "fuck, this is so embarassing!".</p><p>Keith gently put a hand on the other’s back, scared of having done something wrong. </p><p>"Lance, I'm not even saying anything. Relax, please-"</p><p>"Keith, you don't get it. I’m still questioning <em> at my age </em>. Dios, I'm fucked up! Everybody finds out when they’re, like, twelve years old or something and I’m here, twice as old, still not sure of who I am. I’m so stupid!" he cried, eyes watery and still hid behind his hands.</p><p>Keith grunted, distraught, "No, you are not. Listen, there isn’t a <em> right age </em> to question your sexuality or anything, Lance" he explained.</p><p>"There is. Believe me, there is. I’m pathetic-"</p><p>"You are not, and again, there is no right or wrong age for that. Guaranteed."</p><p>"Right, wasn't Shiro fifteen or something when he came out?" the Cuban bit back, flustered, “I didn’t suspect anything at his age, Keith! Not a clue!”.</p><p>Keith raised an eyebrow, a chuckle suppressed because he knew that Lance would have mistaken it for something else.</p><p>He really had to play that card? Apparently, yes.</p><p>"Yeah,” Keith nodded, “Shiro did come out at the age of fifteen, but <em> I </em>came out at twenty-three. So...". </p><p>He swore he could hear Lance’s braincells working and elaborating that crucial, delicate and so astonishing new information. But as seconds became minutes, Keith started to grow worried. Had he broken Lance?</p><p>“Lance? Are you-”</p><p>"...What!? Y-y-y-you are- WHAT!" Lance stuttered, eyes comically wide.</p><p>
  <em> He’s kidding, right!? Keith’s messing with me, he’s- </em>
</p><p>"Yes, I’m gay" the other replied, smiling tenderly.</p><p>"You- no. Are you kidding me? You're… Gay?"</p><p>A vehement hum, "A hundred percent. Took me a while to figure it out. I came out to Shiro and Krolia almost three years ago-".</p><p>Lance’s shock intensified drastically, his mouth gaping as a fish’s out of water.</p><p>"What!? How- I- I had no idea!".</p><p>"I know,” Keith exhaled from his nose, a pang of guilt puncturing his chest, “I should've said something earlier maybe. Sorry, I just didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, you know.. But…” he scratched the back of his head, “Yeah, I mean, if you are bi or simply questioning, it's fine. It's really not a problem, I promise".</p><p>Lance didn’t even nod nor seem to acknowledge what Keith had said. He was spaced out, lost beyond recovery. At least, that’s what Keith feared, being the extremely caring yet socially-awkward guy that he was. He cleared his throat, fearfully. </p><p>"Lance? You, huh, you okay there, bud?".</p><p>Another minute or so of silence followed, Keith more and more worried as instants passed.</p><p>Lance swallowed, looking away, "Dios... This is so embarrassing".</p><p>Keith raised a thick eyebrow, mildly confused, "Why?".</p><p>Lance blushed again, not that Keith could see it as he was turned.</p><p>"Because- because if I had known earlier, I would have... I don't know..."</p><p>"...You ‘would have’ what, Lance? Talk to me, come on...".</p><p>The Cuban shook his head, "Nothing”.</p><p>"Mh…”.</p><p>Keith didn’t take the bait, and tried something that he would have never even thought of a few years prior. But for Lance’s wellbeing, he was absolutely willing to say some things that made him feel intensely scared. </p><p>“You would have asked me out?".</p><p>And that’s when Lance shot up, red in the face, marks burning bright as he grabbed his own hair, huffing out nervously, "Yes! No? I- Keith! I mean, ye-yeah. I- okay, no, too much at once. Too much at once, man! I need to, huh, go feed the cows..? Yeah. It's- I really need to go" he fretted, panic evident in every feature.</p><p>
  <em> So I was right! </em>
</p><p>“Lance, wait! It’s okay, let’s talk about this-” Keith got up too, a hand trying to reach for the other man.</p><p>“It’s so late and you must be exhausted, you should go back!” </p><p>“Why are you freaking out like this? Lance, it’s okay, I’m not mad-” he tried again.</p><p>He really wasn’t mad. Keith was happy beyond imagination, but Lance didn’t seem to understand.</p><p>The Cuban groaned loudly, voice watery and on the verge of tears, evidently.</p><p>“Just- please, don’t tell anyone about this, Keith. Please.”</p><p>“Again, why are you sorry? I don’t understand, Lance”.</p><p>He really didn’t understand.</p><p>Was Lance ashamed because he used to have a crush on Keith because he despised him? Or did he still maybe have a crush on him? Keith didn’t really understand.</p><p>Lance seemed to notice Keith’s confusion for the first time, “It’s embarrassing ‘cause I put you in this situation! Listen, I need to go-”</p><p>"Okay… But, before you go- okay, I don't want to freak you out but, huh, your marks are kind of betraying you now-" he tried.</p><p>Lance did, in fact, freak out. Greatly.</p><p>"...Fuck. FUCK!” he kicked at the coffee table in front of the couch, Keith watching confusedly and worriedly, “Fucking universe and its fucking humor!". Now, there were definitely tears streaming down Lance’s face. Keith did not remark that.</p><p>"Lance, hey. Please, it's alright-"</p><p>"No, it's not, ¡Dios mío! Every single time I try to move on, the universe does this. Always. Every single goddamn time, I-" he yelled loudly, fists tight at his sides as his face was turned toward the nearest window, as if he was trying to look at the sky threateningly.</p><p>It was childish, but Keith found it kind of cute. <em> Not the time to point that out </em>, he figured.</p><p>"Lance, breathe. Please-"</p><p>"The universe is <em> punishing </em> me. God or- whatever is up there <em> hates </em>me! Every single time I feel any intense emotion, these marks shine bright like a glowstick. I'm ridiculous!"</p><p>"You are not! Stop beating yourself up like this, please" Keith bit back.</p><p>"These- they are scars. Scars from my past. And not the cool type like yours, no. I'm a fraud, reminding Coran that the idiot who killed his almost-daughter bears the marks of their race even when I <em> clearly </em>don't belong" he grabbed his ears, much to Keith’s inital confusion.</p><p>
  <em> Oh. </em>
</p><p>Now he got it.</p><p>"Lance, stop this. Coran has never blamed you, and none of us thinks that it's your fault. You treated Allura with kindness, patience and dedication. And- and you made her laugh and reassured her all the time too! Coran couldn't have been prouder when she chose <em> you </em>, and he considers you like his son from the day he met you"</p><p>Lance scoffed bitterly, "It's not even true-"</p><p>"It is! He told me. God, you are an idiot" Keith sighed, crossing his arms.</p><p>"I know-"</p><p>"I was- ugh! I'm going to hit you.” he rolled his eyes, “Lance, you think that everybody here hates you, but we don't. Don't you get it? We love you! <em> I </em>love you."</p><p>Lance stared. Speechless. Astounded. Breathless.</p><p>"Hey, it's okay-” Keith tried, “you liked Allura and I respected it, and when you two became a couple, I stopped flirting. I- I mean, I wasn’t good at it and I don’t know if you have ever even noticed but- but I didn’t want to put myself between you two".</p><p>"I know. I... I saw that.” Lance muttered, surprisingly fast.</p><p>Now it was Keith that was taken aback, not sure if he’d heard right. </p><p>"Lance… What are you talking about?"</p><p>"Uhm, when Shiro told us to be with the ones we love I sort of went to find you..? The- the sunset that we saw together before the final fight..?" he stuttered, “and, I- I came to you because... I... Fuck, I'm bad at this. I had the outfit that Coran had chosen for the date with Allura, and… It’s not like I wanted you to see me in it, but...".</p><p>He stopped. After a pause, brief yet intense, he spoke again, voice getting lower and lower with each syllable, "It's just that I wanted to make sure that it was okay for you. I didn't want you to find it out from someone else, and- I don't know... If you had reacted negatively, I would have gone on a date with Allura anyway but- I don't know. I don’t know what I would have done. I didn’t want you to be jealous, I just… Wanted to see if it was okay for you".</p><p>His face had gotten significantly, worriedly paler. Keith noticed right away.</p><p>"Lance..."</p><p>"Now I sound like a monster. It sounds like I wanted to use Allura to get to you, but it's not like it. I swear! I liked her. I really, really did. I've never stopped thinking about her, she's- she's the first one I loved. I will never forget her. And when we went on a date I liked her, but at the same time I knew that I liked you more. Maybe I liked her as a close friend, or as a person in general,” he blurted out, gripping the shirt on his chest, “I admired her. I always did. She was so brave, fun and great at everything she did. I was <em> amazed </em>. I- I still am, because I got the chance to meet her and share some years together. B-but... You... You've always been there in the back of my mind. Not immediately. I didn't like you at all when we were at the Garrison or during our first days in space, let’s be honest-"</p><p>Keith scoffed, "Same, honestly-"</p><p>"<em> But </em> I've grown fond of you. I... I think I realized I loved you when you came back to Voltron with Krolia, Cosmo and Romelle. I... When you were gone, I felt this unusual emptiness in my chest, and I realized it when you stepped out of that Altean pod, 'cause that bad feeling was mostly gone. Instantly. I felt… Relieved, and safer". His voice was barely a whisper now.</p><p>"Lance..."</p><p>"I know, I'm sorry. I'm putting you in this awkward situation, yeah. Sorry. I don't even know why I'm saying this-".</p><p>But he did.</p><p>Keith sighed again, gently, gingerly placing his hands on Lance’s trembling shoulders as the Cuban curled on himself further, "Did you not hear what I said, Lance? I <em> still </em>love you." he explained, “and I want to help. I care about you, I want to do everything I can to make you smile again. If- if it’s too soon, I’ll wait. Or, if you don’t like me anymore, I’ll take it. I just- I can’t live knowing that you’re hurting” he confessed, eyes low.</p><p>Keith didn’t fear being rejected. He was used to it, he was used to being abandoned and left alone. What he was scared of, now, was that Lance would have shut him out completely, and there would have been nothing that Keith could have done to-</p><p>"...I thought you meant you liked me <em> as a friend </em> ..." Lance murmured, eyes glowing with… <em> Happiness? </em></p><p>And then, all the tension in Keith was gone.</p><p>"Oh my God, you are an idiot. I don’t love you as a friend, Lance" he smiled kindly, “I <em> love </em>you.”</p><p>Lance trembled, every fibre of his being set in motion, the sweet and oh-so-painful rush of adrenaline coursing through his veins "I don't. Why... Why me? How? Since when?"</p><p>"Uhm. First, because you are you. Second, well, with my heart I guess. Third, since the bonding moment" Keith spoke, opening an eye to see Lance already trying to deny it.</p><p>"No, Lance, I'm not debating on this again. Point is, that I had a crush on you back then, and when I was lost in space with my mom I had time to... think. Two whole years, actually. And... Yeah, that's when I realized that maybe I liked you more than what I thought"</p><p>"...and you still do?" Lance asked, baffled.</p><p>"Yeah. D-do you?"</p><p>A vigorous nod, "I do.".</p><p>Keith’s world ignited, and he wasted no time. "I'm going to kiss you now, if it's okay"</p><p>"...Go ahead" Lance nodded again, softly this time.</p><p>Slowly, they got closer, noses only a few inches apart, and closer, and closer. They could feel each other’s wet breath on their faces, near their mouths, eyes gazing, longing for contact, desire peaking. And Keith moved forward.</p><p>Their lips touched gently, timidly. Lance’s were wet and delicate, Keith’s were a bit chapped, but pleasant nonetheless. And skilled.</p><p>After a few instants of uncertainty and fear, Keith hesitantly parted his lips slightly, Lance following him on instinct. Their tongues touched tips, and then clumsily made their way inside the other’s mouth. It wasn’t aggressive, not in the slightest. The sweet, warm taste of saliva wet their lips as Lance hesitantly grabbed Keith’s open jacket, and pulled him a bit closer.</p><p>He could feel his heartbeat, Keith’s inner trembling spreading across his whole body, the heat coming out of it and mixing with his.</p><p>And Keith gingerly cradled the back of Lance’s neck, careful not to tickle nor hurt him.</p><p>Lance’s marks started to glow again, delicately, timidly.</p><p>"I'm sorry..." Lance muttered, pulling apart.</p><p>Keith took the Cuban’s face in his hands,thumbs rubbing his tear-stained cheeks soothingly, "You have no reason to. These marks are beautiful and important to you, so don't be sorry"</p><p>"I... I just don't want you to think that I'm secretly thinking of her or anything. I mean, I am. I am, but not like that-" </p><p>"I understand.” Keith cut short, before Lance could spiral again, “And… It's okay, it's more than okay. God, Lance, I- we've been trying to make you open up for years and... And you did. And Allura, she'd be so, so proud of you" he nodded, speaking truthfully.</p><p>"You really think so..?"</p><p>"I don't just <em> think </em>it, I know it for sure. We all loved Allura, and we still do, immensely. These marks... She gave them to you for a reason. Because she loved you, she cared about you. Your emotions... They are the most beautiful thing in the universe,” Keith breathed out, “I think that Allura gave you these marks because she knew that you had greatness within, and they can actively remind you of it in your darkest moments. So, be proud”.</p><p>And for the first time in years, Lance smiled sincerely.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Self-projecting on Lance because even if I didn’t lose anyone, I lost my mental sanity and will to live at the ripe age of thirteen and I actively wish to die. And I tried to make this a bit fun at least because the world now needs joy.<br/>Now, speaking of more important stuff… I tried my best to portray how I think that Lance would have elaborated the situation in reality. I believe that being scarred for life for such a short-term and controversial relationship would have left a real person traumatised. And Allura, oh, she wasn’t the enemy here, no. I loved her, but the writers of the show had other plans (don’t open a discourse ‘cause I will promptly ignore you. Please.) and I tried my very best to fix the situation without altering the post-canon hints we’ve been given too much.<br/>Honestly, writing about a character who grieves is a cathartic experience, especially when this character wasn’t allowed to do so in canon. Next chapter will be a “two years later” kind of thing and yes, k.i.c.k.  ❤️💙</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Age clarification: for me, Lance was 22 years old in s8: he was 17 when he left Earth on the Blue Lion, stayed in space for about a year and a half plus the three-year timeskip after the fight with Lotor. The first and the second chapter are set two years after the finale, so Lance is 24 there. Now, in this final chapter that is set two extra years later, Lance is 26 years old.<br/>Keith is one year older than Lance in canon, and you have to consider the two extra years he has from the quantum abyss, so in the last chapter Keith is 29.<br/>Long story short, in chapter 3:<br/>-Lance is 26<br/>-Keith is 29<br/>-Hunk is 26<br/>-Pidge is 24<br/>-Shiro is 34<br/>-Coran is (10'000+)65 circa.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>- TWO YEARS LATER -</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lance and Keith hadn't seen each other for three whole days- some ancient Galra tradition about how the spouses can't be close to each other immediately before the wedding, from what Krolia had said- and it was torture for them both.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Since two years earlier, when the two had formerly started to date regularly and were used to spend at least three days together each week, between Keith's missions off-planet and Lance's new job at the Garrison as an instructor. And after Lance had proposed, six months, three days and ten hours ago- </span>
  <em>
    <span>yes</span>
  </em>
  <span> he was counting those- they'd moved in together. Now the time had come.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The time for a wedding. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Their</span>
  </em>
  <span> wedding.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lance stared at his reflection, fixing the last details in his look with a nervous smile on his face. He smoothed his gelled hair back, bothered by that single chocolate lock that went against the current and seemed to have a life of its own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Come on, stay down, please-" he mumbled, trying to make that bang stick down and failing miserably. He groaned, defeated. Stumbling back, he flopped on the king-sized bed in the room, facing the ceiling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was really going to get married. To Keith. Married to Keith. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Mr Lance Mclain-Kogane. It really has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He hummed to himself, before a knock on the door made him jump out of his skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Lance, I'm comin' in"</span>
  </em>
  <span> Pidge chirped from outside the door and stepped in an instant later. Lance bolted upright, shocked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Pidge! I- I could've been indecent!" Lance screeched, and the other shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh please, I've seen you naked as a baby a thousand times already," they snickered, "besides, I am unbothered by nudity and such, remember?".</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lance sighed, sitting on the mattress again, "Oh, yeah, sorry. So, uhm, what are you doing here?".</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pidge sat down next to him, a bright smile on their face, "I just wanted to see how you were doing, man. Hunk said that earlier you were freaking out a bit, and since your family is finishing up with the flowers and all, I thought I’d come and help you"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, thanks Pidge. I’m sorry, you didn't have to come..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nonsense, of course I had to!" Pidge said, patting his back tenderly, "so, how are you feeling? Excited, I bet?".</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lance nodded vehemently, grinning, "Yeah, like never before!". </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The smile faded soon, replaced by visible worry, "I'm so nervous, though. What if I mess up? What- what if I forget my vows?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Dude, I'm sure you'll do fine. And Keith will probably be busy staring at you in awe to even listen to the vows." they reasoned, "you are ready, Lance. It's going to be alright".</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man smiled tenderly, looking at his friend- it sure was rare to see Pidge with such an elegant suit on- "Thank you, I... I really needed that".</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pidge returned the smile, nodding.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So..." the Cuban got up, going back in front of the mirror, "have you heard of Keith?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Krolia will kill me if I say anything. Let's not turn this wedding into a funeral, please" Pidge replied, dead serious on the matter- messing with Krolia was not a thing that anyone wished to do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lance pouted, turning around, "Ow, come on! I just wanna know if he's alright. Please? For me? For your buddy? For Lancey-Lance? For the spouse?" he begged, hands joint in prayer. His eyes were shining brightly, pupils wide and sparkling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a hesitant second, Pidge sighed defeatedly, "Fine. I can't say no to those puppy eyes, can I? You didn't hear it from me, but Shiro said that your beloved had a nervous breakdown yesterday. He's okay now. But I didn't tell you anything..." Pidge muttered, eyeing the door for fear that Krolia would burst in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn't, </span>
  <em>
    <span>thankfully</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lance brought a hand up to bite his nails, but Pidge swatted it away before leaning back on the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Cuban paced restlessly, eyes going wider and wider with each word Pidge spoke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh God, I really wanna see him... Like, I need to. Right now!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You will, soon. Actually, you two will spend the eternity together, so I bet you can hang on a couple of hours, mh?" Pidge tried.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If Lance was going to spiral, then it was really going to be a problem, and Pidge wanted to avoid it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you want me to... Call Hunk, maybe?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, no, it's fine," Lance breathed in slowly, shakily, "he's with Shay and being pregnant with rock-babies can't be easy, so I'm happy that he's with her now, he's a good guy. And I'll be alright. After all, you are here with me and that's more than enough" he offered with a gentle smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh stop it, kiss-ass!" they yelled, throwing a spare pillow that he dodged easily, laughing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"After such a long time, I finally get to see you at ease and happy. That's a win-win situation, Keith's a lucky guy to have you"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, it only took a year and a half of proper dating. I wouldn't say it took </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> long" Lance scoffed, fixing his bowtie while in the mirror, eyebrows pulled together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How I hate this thing, why isn't it straight- don't answer that."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wasn't gonna say anything before you gave me the idea!" Pidge rolled their eyes, "and by the way, Keith has been pining since you two met, honestly. And we could all see how you looked at the guy with heart-eyes after he came back from the quantum abyss" they muttered from the bed they were sat on, playing with their hair, "it was obvious"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Pfff, that's not true, Pidgeon"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It is".</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lance's face was tinged in red as he turned around, stomping his feet, eyes wide, "That's not true!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It is, I tell you! And why are you blushing? Lance, you are literally getting married to Keith in two hours, idiot" they snickered. Getting up from the bed, Pidge made their way to Lance, "let me fix this bowtie for you before I break your hands- gosh, you tangled it impossibly tight!".</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Lance only blushed further at that. Sweat covered his forehead, pearls of warm water threatening to stain his immaculate shirt. No, he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> going to stink the day of his wedding, </span>
  <em>
    <span>for quiznak's sake!</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry, I'm just really, </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> nervous"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I get it, man, it's alright. Damn, who would have thought that I would have had the honor to assist to </span>
  <em>
    <span>your</span>
  </em>
  <span> wedding..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, what is </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> supposed to mean?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I mean, I didn't think that anyone would have ever married you-" Pidge explained, or tried to do so, interrupted by Lance's sarcastic snorting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Gee, thanks"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, you used to be a bit of a jerk, Lance. Just saying..." they laughed, raising their gaze, "And now, look at that, you are a whole-ass man, the lovable and admirable kind too".</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Were those tears in Pidge's hazel eyes?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lance put a hand on the shorter friend's shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Aw, are you crying already?" he smiled tenderly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"N-no, it's just that your stupid bowtie upset me..." Pidge sniffled, "I'm... I'm so, so happy, Lance. I really am. You deserve happiness"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Stop it, Pidge, you're gonna make me cry too- don't do it. This foundation was $40"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"...You wear foundation?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The amount of stress I experienced in the last month made my skin break out, and I refuse to have visible pimples today!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Alright, gee, calm down, man." they raised their hand slightly, defensively, before going back to the bowtie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What if Keith changes his mind?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why would he do that? Don't be ridiculous, you'll get married alright"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I mean, what if he realizes that this is too sudden or that he doesn't really love me-!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Too sudden? You call five years of friendship and almost two of dating 'too sudden'? Hunk proposed to Shay after, like, eight months of dating, dude. Shiro and Curtis as well"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But Hunk is... Hunk. He's fun, kind, loving and talented. And Shiro’s a great guy too, I'm just-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You are exactly that too, McClain. Don't make me hurt you now." Pidge finished on the bowtie, taking some steps back to observe the final result. Lance looked stunning, incredibly elegant and at ease with that suit on and the bowtie was perfectly knotted, </span>
  <em>
    <span>thank you very much.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do I look okay?" Lance asked, hesitant. The young communications engineer could see the anxiety in his eyes, and they knew it wasn't just because of the bowtie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They nodded, convinced, "You look great. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> great, Lance. Don't ever doubt it". The wrinkles in the Cuban's forehead smoothed slightly, visibly relieved.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>- elsewhere -</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I am freaking out. I. Am. Freaking. Out. Absolutely, utterly, immensely freaking out!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Keith, calm down" Shiro smiled, Krolia next to him, arms crossed and a stoic expression plastered on her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Giving in to your emotions will not help you" she said, and Shiro nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, I can't help it! Oh God, I- I don't remember the vows, I don't know if Lance has maybe changed his mind, I-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shiro was next to him a second later, his flesh hand squeezing his brother's shoulder reassuringly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Keith. Lance </span>
  <em>
    <span>loves</span>
  </em>
  <span> you. He's lost for you, it's evident. So don't worry"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But what if- I don't know- what if he realizes that I'm not the right one for him? What if he's doing this only because I told him I liked him?".</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shiro couldn’t repress the urge to slap his hand across his face, sighing loudly at his stubborn brother.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Lance was the one to propose to you, am I correct?" Krolia intervened, raising an eyebrow, "I doubt that he would have done so, were his feelings toward you not sincere".</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Keith's eyes widened, and he brought a hand up to his face, rubbing it, "I- I don't know... I'm so scared".</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hug took him by surprise, but he leaned into it. Shiro stepped aside for a second, smiling fondly at the scene. And despite Keith had grown significantly taller in the past few years, he still looked incredibly smaller than his 7ft tall mother.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She gently grabbed her son's shoulder, and pulled them away slowly, staring at him motherly, "Lance loves you, and you love him back; this is what counts." she spoke as she smoothed his hair, "Your father and I didn't have much more in common besides the love we had for each other. And this brought us the most beautiful gift: </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Love is all it takes to make it work" she nodded, planting a tender kiss on Keith's forehead. The man smiled, blushing slightly, "Thank you, mom...".</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shiro's sniffles interrupted the scene, but he quickly turned around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shiro, are you crying? The ceremony hasn't even started yet" Keith scoffed, playfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man shook his head, "M' not crying!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Keith hummed, "Your eyeliner is smudged, though..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, shit-".</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was not, but Shiro had fallen for it, catapulting himself in front of the mirror and growling at his brother once he realized it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank Krolia for being here, 'cause I would have punched you otherwise".</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The three laughed, not loudly but enough to lighten the mood.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Keith looked in the mirror, sighing, "I don't know how things will go, but I want to thank you, mom, Shiro." he muttered, looking at the two in the reflection, "I would have never gotten this far without you guys. Thank you so much, I mean it". Hiding the blush on his cheeks was impossible, he didn't even try.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Keith, don't get all sappy now. My heart can't handle that!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You did this with your own strength, son".</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Keith smiled, gently. He could do this. He was ready.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>- Thirty minutes before the wedding -</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lance, my man!” Hunk yelled upon spotting his best friend in the garden where the ceremony was going to be celebrated- New Altea’s most beautiful park, and Lance’s family personally took care of those flowers too, growing them on Earth and sending them off to the newer planet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Heya buddy” Lance grinned, before being squashed by one of  Hunk’s crushing yet soft hugs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dude, I’m so excited for you and Keith! I’m tearing up already,” he chuckled, “so, it’s almost time, mh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m freaking the hell out, but there’s no turning back! I’m ready to do this”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I feel you… Just, maybe don’t pass out like I did at my wedding. I mean, Shay and you all were so sweet but that was a tad embarrassing!”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lance laughed at the memory. Truth is, everybody knew that Hunk would have either thrown up or fainted- Lance owed ten bucks to Pidge who’d guessed right- so nobody was shocked when it actually happened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll try not to, though I’m strangely calm now”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The lull before the storm...” Hunk nodded, patting Lance’s back, “hey, sorry if I wasn’t there when you were putting the suit on-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my God, are you seriously apologising because you went to take care of your pregnant wife? Classic Hunk.” he rolled his eyes jokingly, “and how is she?”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Samoan grinned, “Shay’s okay now, thanks. Turns out that it’s normal for pregnant Balmerans to have their eyes go bright green for some reason! It was scary, I have to admit”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I freaked out too when I saw her like that-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lance, Hunk!” Coran’s accented voice called from a distance as the man got rapidly closer, “there you are! For Alfor’s sake, I thought I’d lost a groom! Oh boy, Keith would have not forgiven me for this, like that one time when I fed you Buopurr and your face swelled up and you vomited on your own new shoes. Keith was </span>
  <em>
    <span>furious </span>
  </em>
  <span>with us all!”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hunk patted the Altean man’s back, “None of us knew that Lance was allergic to it, don’t worry, man” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, I don’t think this is the best time to bring up embarrassing facts about the poor spouse” Lance pointed out, “since this man right here is one step away from dying of anxiety already” he finished, pointing at himself with the thumbs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Coran only laughed, “It’s alright, lad. Keith is in your same situation- don’t tell Krolia it was me to say it!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it with you all and Krolia? She’s my future husband’s mother, my mother-in-law, the woman that will end me if I accidentally hurt her baby. I like living, thanks, so don’t make her angry!”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two other men snickered, but nodded solemnly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then, Hunk’s phone rang.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, sorry guys- Hello? Oh, Shay... Yeah, I’m coming baby. Mhm? Okay... I’ll be there in a dobosh” he smiled, and ended the call, “I have to go, I’m needed elsewhere. Will you be alright, Lance?”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The groom nodded, “When we’ll meet again, I’ll be a wedded man!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I’ll be right there,” Hunk said, hugging his best friend, “good luck, man”</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “Thanks, buddy… Now go to your lady, come on!”. And with a final grin, Hunk ran off to Shay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lance watched him go, smiling fondly. Gosh, he was just so happy for that man, he truly deserved all the happiness that the world had to offer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lance,” Coran called, clearing his throat, “may I have a word?”. He gestured to a nearby bench, and the two sat on it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong, Coran?”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man remained silent, and this only aggravated Lance’s anxiety. What was this about?</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The flowers? No, they’re set already and my family helped too…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe he doesn’t want to officiate the wedding anymore? But he volunteered to do so!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is this the father-son talk I never got?-- oh. Oh, no.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No. It's not-</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It can’t be, no, please...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is… Is this about Allura?” Lance asked, gingerly, fists tight on his gap, eyes staring at them blankly. That’s it, Coran was mad at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Altean man nodded gravely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Coran-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, let me speak first, please. Lance, I… I’m sorry!”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now that, Lance was not expecting in the slightest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re sorry..? For what?” Lance fretted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The older man brought a hand up to cover his eyes, teary. He regained his composure surprisingly shortly after, but to Lance it seemed like a whole eternity.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You see,” he spoke calmly, “I should have told you earlier just how much I love you and how happy I am for you. I… I could never bring myself to say so directly to you, Lance. And for that, I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Coran, no...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. Yes. I- I should have told you immediately how important you are to me, and how glad I am that you found peace again. After...”. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lance knew what this was about, no more words were needed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“After Allura sacrificed herself, I was torn. She was like a step-daughter to me... Her happiness was what mattered the most, especially after Alfor asked me to take care of the Princess before he too sacrificed himself ten thousand years ago”. Coran breathed out shakily, and Lance held his breath, stomach churning on itself. Neither of them spoke for some interminable instants, but eventually Coran continued with his speech.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you, Lance, you made her happy when nobody else could. If she didn’t love you at first sight, and you have to forgive her, young Alteans tend to be judgy of the others’ ears-” and Lance snorted at that “-but, well, she always enjoyed your company and free-spirit. I am not making this up, since she was the one to personally tell me, I assure you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Coran…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s true, lad. After Lotor broke her heart, and after we all came on Earth, she was lost. Believe me, I tried my very best to make her happy, but she was incredibly nostalgic and slowly losing faith in herself. And…” Coran gently placed a hand on Lance’s shoulder, “and you made her smile again. Those last days were happy ones, I could see it in her eyes. This is why I am thankful and grateful that you were in her life, and that you also have the chance to move on and make one of your own, Lance”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lance didn’t even try to hold the tears back- hopefully, the foundation wouldn’t have stained his suit- as he let himself go to a series of deep, heavy sobs. Coran’s words meant the world to Lance, because he needed to hear from him. It’s not like he didn’t trust the others when they told him that Coran loved him as a son and that Allura was happy with him, but hearing it from his first love’s step-father was the ultimate validation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt Coran’s warm hand on his back, rubbing soothing circles on it as he too sniffled, though not as heavily as Lance. And Lance felt warmth spreading across his chest, to his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Cuban wasn’t used to that yet, but whenever his marks glowed, a piece of him that threatened to bury itself would rise, and he felt lighter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because Allura had always been with him, in him. Because she was watching over Lance with a tender smile and warm eyes that pushed him to move on. Because she’d loved him and she’d felt loved by him. Because, in the past, though for a short time, Allura and Lance were each other’s world, and that is a thing that couldn’t be forgotten. Because when you care for someone on a deeper level, you want them to smile. Because when someone has had a significant role in your life, you want them to be happy. You want to see them </span>
  <em>
    <span>moving on.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m happy for you and Keith, lad, I really am. You two deserve each other and all good that the universe has to offer” Coran muttered, a fatherly smile on his face, “I… I am so proud of you, </span>
  <em>
    <span>son</span>
  </em>
  <span>”. Son. Lance was his son. And Lance sobbed more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lance and Keith stepped on the altar. Holding hands delicately, the weight and the warmth of the contact so dear and familiar, amethyst eyes melted in ocean’s, elegantly underlined by glowing moons. And with a simple smile, they knew that it was finally going to be okay.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-fin-</b>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>me, carrying Allura's pictures everywhere "excuse me sir this is my emotional support princess".</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I have a complicated relationship with this story. I love the concept, but admitting that Allura died is... Tough.<br/>I loved her immensely: she was a powerful, bright and iconic character whose main trait was reduced to “dating material” in the end. It wasn't fair to her nor to Lance, honestly.<br/>I love platonic Allurance, and a lot, but the ship isn’t for me (no ship hate: I respect all ships that do not involve illegal stuff).<br/>With this fic I have decided to accept her passing and her relationship with Lance, and to give him what he deserved: a chance to live his own life. Allura will always live in my heart, and in the characters' too, surely…<br/>As Coran said while remembering Allura: "for some of us, she was a diplomat, a teacher, a leader, and a friend. But to those of us around this table, she will always be family… To Allura!”.<br/>So… To Allura. I love you, my Princess.<br/>-<br/>DON'T READ AND RUN!! Leave comments and kudos if you enjoyed this, please :D</p></blockquote></div></div>
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